Starting Over: From Hero To Zero And Back Again: I Will Dig Myself Out Of This Hole

I used to be a pretty damn good triathlete.  Not a great one, not a pro, but I was pretty good.  I've raced every distance from sprint to Ironman and I had a pretty good run at it for about 10 years.  If I had to describe my level of racing, it's fair to say I was an elite level age group athlete.  When I raced, I'd almost always be on the podium in a triathlon of just about any distance. More times than not, in local races I'd finish first in my age group. Even at Ironman distance, I won my age group a few times and finished on the podium a few more times.  Looking back on those best days racing is almost surreal now. I feel like I've fallen so far that the woman who raced with such passion and had that talent is a different person.  Can I find her again? Maybe she won't be quite as fast since she's 10 and 15 years older but it that fire and that talent still there?  Do I want to find it?

The Deep End - It Sucks

Shingles knocked me out.  Other than recovery from a major bike crash 20 years ago, I'd never gone through this kind of pain. I couldn't sleep or eat.  The pain was both relentless and intermittent, dull aches and sharp and stabbing.  During these first two weeks, training hasn't even been a remote thought or possibility.  I've been able to make it through the work day but I pretty much collapse when I get home. Supper and then to bed is about all I've been able to manage.  After the initial course of anti-viral medication, I was given medication for nerve pain and, now after nearly a week on that, we finally settled on a dosage that allowed me to function without being totally knocked out. At my most recent visit to the doctor, April 25, just over 2 weeks into this virus, the doctor recommended no training for another 5 to 7 days. Normally, I would be counting the days and updating the count, putting me at being able to do some training starting around May 1.  Quite honestly, though, I still feel like I've been hit by a truck but at least the truck has slowed down a bit.  I did a yoga class Monday and that was OK but it was my limit for that day.  I still have no real training mojo.  I feel like I'm really in the Deep End.

Goal Setting:  Summer Race?  Who Am I Kidding!?

I thought I'd be bold and set a goal race for myself. It would be right here in black and white and I'd have to keep myself accountable.  I was feeling better on Saturday and I thought the trajectory to recovery was an straight uphill from there.  Wrong!!  Sunday came and I felt like I'd been hit the stupid truck again. (Why can't that guy learn to drive?!!)   First things first as I'm not sure yet how soon my training mojo will return.

From Hero To Zero:  I Never Thought This Would Happen To Me

Ok so maybe "Hero" is a bit of an exaggeration but I've always tried to lead by at least providing some small examples. I admit to having gotten more than a bit lazy about my swim and run training over the past few years but I've never skimped on bike training. I coach/lead a few bike workouts a week through the winter indoor ride season. This past fall and winter, I was on Zwift.  A lot.  I had more than one person comment "you're always on Zwift". I did a few race series on Zwift and an a absolute blast working myself into the ground, literally.  I finished more than one event so spent, I couldn't even stay on my bike to do a cool down.

No, I'm not taking a nap here. This is me after one of the Zwift Fondo stages this past winter.  I actually had a lot of fun with that one.

By the end of February, I was probably in the best bike shape I'd ever been in this early in the season.  Then, March came and it was time to get ready to re-locate our business and that's when the real downward spiral to this all started.  Stress is one of the common causes of shingles and re-locating your home or your business is one surefire way to add some stress to your life. By the end of March, my half marathon training program was nothing but a memory and I hadn't been in the pool in 2 months.  By the time I finally got shingles, I'd already lost a fair amount of fitness and for some of that pitiful state, I had no one to blame but myself.  Would I have dug myself into a bigger hole had I made time to train somehow during the time we were moving, who knows?  Maybe shingles would have just hit earlier, who knows?  There are lots of maybes but one thing is for sure:  in terms of fitness and race training, I'm starting from scratch on this one. From "Hero to Zero", that's me and I'm not happy about it. (And, yes, I know the term "hero" is an exaggeration.)

Rock Bottom:   I Hope This Is It

Please let this be my rock bottom.  I'd love to pick a goal race for this summer but I'm not confident I can start training soon enough to get ready for anything I'd call "racing" this summer.  I did one short yoga class and that was my limit for now.  So a full triathlon training schedule is just a dream right now.  For now, I'd settle for healthy and ready to get going.  One morning last week, I had to choke back a few tears just getting ready for work:  everything hurt, even my skin, I hate relying on medication to get through the day.  For now, my path out of the deep end remains undefined.  If I had enough energy right now, I'd be pissed off.  Too tired for that right now and it sucks.  A lot. 

This is my bike.  It is lonely.  When will we be reunited?

Desperately Seeking Advice

I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last to have an unplanned early season break from training.  Injury and illness will happen.  If you've got any words of encouragement or your own examples, I'm all ears. I've got lots of time to read and listen so spill!  How long were you down?  How did you re-start?  How did you modify your goals?  What were your successes?  HELP!!

(FYI, I'm not really desperate.  The subtitle here is a loose reference to a moderately well-known 80's era movie starring one of the most iconic artists of  the day.  If you know the 80's, you'll know what I'm talking about.)